Do and Do Not!

At times we can all get lost in our old habits and can't seem to pull ourselves through. Parents, especially, often feel like they are failing or could do better. Once in a while you hear something from someone or hear a line on TV or the radio that resonates with you and triggers you to start doing something or stop doing something. This is by no means a complete list but here are some thoughts… The Don'ts Don't use your child as your confident, therapist or fellow victim. They don't want to know! Don't try to cause problems in your child's relationship with the other parent - you are hurting your child. Don't bad mouth the other parent, their new partner or choices for their new life. Don't purchase your children's allegiance, acceptance, understanding or forgiveness. Don't compete with the other parent. Don't use your child to communicate with the other parent - be an adult and role model and do it...
Read More

Negotiating

The key to a successful negotiation is preparation. When you are prepared there is an increased expectation that you get the best possible outcome for yourself. This doesn't mean you will get everything you want. It does mean you will be fully prepared to make good decisions about what you will or will not agree with. Whether you are negotiating directly (mediation, parenting co-ordination, self represent in court) or through another party (lawyers) there are considerations that need to be thought through. Prepare before you start… Make sure you are ready to face the other party at the table. If you don't think you can't, there may be benefit to working with a lawyer to help you in mediation or lawyer to lawyer negotiation Know your interests and what priority they have. It is more than simply knowing what you want. You need to consider how important certain interests are to you and whether you would consider giving that up or giving...
Read More

Pensions

Pensions are often a very sensitive subject in property equalization discussions. Many clients are upset that they have to include an asset that they have worked so hard for. Some people don't realize their pension is matrimonial property and included in equalization of assets. However that is not the case. Pensions are considered matrimonial property and included as an asset for the purpose of calculating Net Family Property (NFP). Often pensions are a significant asset and in some cases the single largest asset after the matrimonial home. On January 1, 2012 new legislation was passed in Ontario Legislature that change how pensions are treated in equalization and who does the valuation. The new rules apply to provincial pensions under the Ontario Pensions and Benefits Act. Property Equalization Before the rule change, the value of a pension remained with the person who owned it. This treatment was unfair as the whole value of the pension could account for a large portion of one party’s equalization pot...
Read More

Goal of Parenting Coordination (PC)

The goal of PC is to make sure your children survive your divorce. The effect of high conflict on children is well researched and documented. Parental conflict is a significant predictor of mental and behavioural health problems in children.   Divorce produces obstacles and hurdles that, for most divorce kids, complicate our childhoods and continue to impact through our adult lives. Most divorce kids survive despite their parents but all are impacted negatively.   However, some divorce kids have to deal with incredible circumstances. Their parents are not able to separate their parental roles from the conflict prior to or during the separation - often these are the same beast. Some parents continue to be committed to the fight, the win, proving the other parent is less or wrong. I see it often in my PC practice. Parents make ridiculous decisions just to win. For example, refusing to let your child play a sport just because it was the other parent's idea.   At its worst...
Read More
Blog Post Title

Blog Post Title

What goes into a blog post? Helpful, industry-specific content that: 1) gives readers a useful takeaway, and 2) shows you're an industry expert. Use your company's blog posts to opine on current industry topics, humanize your company, and show how your products and services can help people....
Read More