Family Mediation and Mediation-Arbitration

“People who were once together can have difficulty even speaking to each other. Often there is residual anger and guilt, fear, anxiety and distrust about the past and the future.”

A separation/divorce is a very hard time for everyone involved. It is overwhelming when you consider the emotional, family and financial implications of severing a spousal relationship. Emotions often run high.

The difficult situation can further deteriorate through an adversarial battle between lawyers and the courts. Some of our clients come to us from lawyer/court processes frustrated and on the edge of emotional and financial bankruptcy.

Mediation is an informal, respectful and productive way to solve separation/divorce disputes. Our highly skilled mediators help families through the difficult transitions related to separation and divorce. At Summit, we help clients redefine their families while maintaining and improving good positive family relationships.

At Summit, we..

provide and guide our clients through a structured process which means our clients can focus on planning for their kids
let the clients determine what issues they will negotiate. The mediator has expertise that will ensure all areas are considered but the clients decide what to negotiate
encourage all our clients to seek independent legal advice during the mediation process to ensure decisions are made in consideration of their rights and responsibilities. Legal Aid (www.legalaid.on.ca) and the local Court House are good sources of information
guide our clients to negotiate mutually agreeable settlements resulting in decisions that work for their unique family situation today and into the future
provide a comprehensive package including a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), financial information and related documentation. The MOU report details all agreements made in mediation and provides the basis for a legal separation agreement.

Comprehensive Mediation – for clients who want to negotiate all issues at the same time – parenting plan, child support, property division and spousal support. At Summit we focus on the child’s best interest so parenting is always discussed first before financial issues are introduced.

Financial Mediation – our mediators have obtained specialized skills to support our financial mediation service. Financial mediation can include child support, property division and spousal support. Summit uses DivorceMate, the standard financial calculator used by all family law professionals.

In the case of separation/divorce mediation, pensions must be valued. A valuation can take 2 to 4 months so it’s smart to get that process started immediately. All of the information and forms are available at www.fsco.gov.on.ca.

Parenting (Plan) Mediation – parenting mediation can be highly emotional for both parents. Often parents have very different parenting styles and ideas about what is best for their children. Parenting plans consider all aspects of parenting: residential schedule, holiday, vacations, mobility, travel, dental/medical, communication, care exceptions, extracurricular, extended family and more.

Open vs. Closed Mediation

One of the many benefits of mediation over litigation is that discussions remain confidential to the process. Many people don’t realize that family court documents are public information. It’s important to understand the difference between open and closed mediation.

Closed mediations are what you expect. Clients can have an open and honest conversation about possibilities without the burden that exploring options might be used against them if they end up in court.

In open mediation, the clients agree that the mediator can make a report back to the court about what was negotiated in mediation.

At Summit, we believe the business of your separation/divorce should stay between you so we use a closed mediation process almost exclusively.

Parenting Coordination

“A difficult separation can contribute to deep rooted animosity and anger. Some parents can’t come back from that experience and move to co-parenting without the help of a parenting coordinator.”

Parenting Coordination is a dispute resolution option for parents who continue to experience high conflict with co-parenting their children. At the start, the parenting coordinator is the functional link between high conflict parents. The primary role pf a parenting coordinator is to help high conflict parents develop effective communication and problem solving skills that are focused on reducing/eliminating conflict while maintaining positive parent child relationships and eventually eliminating the need for a parenting coordinator.

Parenting Coordination is for…

Parents who have finalized their separation but continue to have difficulty finding a way to co-parent with their former spouse may benefit from working with a parenting coordinator. Most parents are able to find a workable co-parenting dynamic and routine by the 2 year mark.

Parents who continue to co-parent in a high conflict dynamic and creating an emotionally unsafe home for their children that can impact their mental, physical and social health.

Most parents in this group may have one or more of the following characteristics:

continued and reoccurring litigation
high levels of anger and distrust of the other parent,
difficulty in communicating about and cooperating in the care of their children,
lack of impulse and anger control,
inability to abide by parenting plans,
history of verbal or physical aggression towards others,
frequent power struggles over the children in the divorce process
behavior the courts would find warrant the appointment of a parenting coordinator.

At Summit, we…

assist parents in implementing court ordered parenting plans and/or mediate expanded intent and details of existing plans
monitor compliance with the details of the plan
Resolve conflicts in a timely manner while sustaining safe, healthy and meaningful parent-child relationships
serve as case manager and family “coach” to facilitate the changes necessary for effective family functioning
provide guidance and education about communication skills and children’s needs
mediate, and where necessary, arbitrate disputes

What are the benefits of using a Parenting Coordinator?

Parenting Coordination benefits parents:

Addresses disputes quickly and more efficiently
Assists parents in defining their new roles as co-parents
Provides education on child development
Allows parents to increase communication, anger management, and problem solving skills
Develops conflict resolution models to allow parents to co-parent in a successful manner throughout the years to follow
Saves court time and costs
Decisions made will be based on the unique family characteristics of the parents and the children

Parenting Coordination benefits children by:

Enhances the chances that both parents will stay involved and active in the child’s life
Decreases the high-conflict interactions that children have been exposed to
Allows parents to model problem solving to the children, rather than relying on courts for decisions
Ensures child safety through open communication between parents
Avoids possible parent alienation syndrome
Provides a safe person for the children to talk to about their relationships with the parents
Increases the child’s understanding of parents working together in his/her best interest

Co-parenting is for life. Your kids are divorce kids for life. Following separation/divorce, your children are looking to see whether or not they lost their parents. When parents don’t/can’t/refuse to measure up, the burden of divorce becomes theirs. Regardless of what happened, it’s your job to help them to thrive in a one child, two homes world.

Dispute Resolution for Families in Separation & Divorce